Intactivist I am not !!

Let’s go over some vocab

What the heck is an intactivist? !!!! Well a person who takes a stand and believes in letting boys and girls keep their foreskin.


They are against circumcision.

Now my view on circumcision has changed within the last few years. You see C is has circumcised. He was born in a hospital we had it done for religious reasons. L is not. Why well we had every intention of it happening but he was born at a birth center they didn’t do them. They actually suggested keeping boys intact. I remember our first appt and after telling my husband we are still getting it done. Well we waited eight days then this turned into a month then this turned into two months with me finally telling my husband it won’t get done. (he freaked out!! Big time! )

You may ask why the change? Well honestly I had protected L from his big brother one eight days. I mean C put toilet water on him, attempted to drag him around, hit him, pulled his hair. So when I went to go look up our doc it hit me. ” I have been protecting L all this time why now hand him over to get hurt?!”

So you may be thinking that must make you an intactivist, why the title? Well because the intactivist I have met I don’t want to be associated with. Let’s go back to my favorite online activity… Mommy groups. Circumcision is a hot button topic, well until a few months ago I use to follow the circ topics even argue with moms. It then hit me why waste my time. Now the intactivist I have met have fit into these two categories:

Crazy and crazier.

The crazy group… Moms who are passionate about keeping boys intact. They get angry but not too angry they may call circumcision mutilating your boys. Usually they say things that make you think but are the group I can handle.

The crazier group…these moms I can’t stand why…. They name call… They will go around the Internet pull up a article about a mom circumcising her son and call her all kinds of names. Not even stopping to think maybe she doesn’t know. They suddenly become religious scholars if you mention religion. They hurt your feelings. The worst of all… They don’t realize their actions are actually scaring moms and get moms defensive. They will cut friends and family off who do circumcise their sons. They don’t realize many parents don’t know that a circ penis is no cleaner than a intact one and the myths that surround the subject. They are so passionate it turns parents and people off from their message.

Yes due to experience I am against routine infant circumcision and it is my sons choice. Yet don’t label me an intactivist. I am just a mom learning along the way. I did not learn anything from the online intactivist …. I learned more from a kind gentle spirited lady my friend and Doula S. I learned more from my midwives.

So my point? Intactivist calm down please you attract more bees with honey than you do with poison I understand the cause but you will loose more by telling parents they are horrible. I have yet to meet anyone who has said ” oh yes because of the name calling I changed my mind.”

Oh and before intactivist attack me saying ” oh you are grouping everyone in the same group wtf!”
I am only basing this off of my experience.


The Nursing games

There has been a lot of talk of breast feeding with in the Facebook mommy world. Yes there is a Facebook mommy world that’s full of talk about the following:

– the color of poop
– the texture of poop
– how many times baby is pooping
– baby’s first poop on the toilet
– bottles
– types of bottles
-cleaning bottles
– circumcision ( I won’t get started on this one )
And ……

Breast feeding

There are groups dedicated to breast feeding some of my favorite being the Leaky Boob, and This Milk matters ( no they did not pay me to say this ) .

When it comes to the matter of breast feeding growing up I had no idea what it was. I truly thought all babies were to drink from a bottle. So naturally when I got pregnant with C it was lets look at bottles. Well going to Target in the feeding aisle looking at all of the bottles I saw these things that looked like torture devices called breast pumps. Going home I did research … And there is was breast feeding. So I took every class I could and read all of the books I could…..

My vision was in place after giving birth I would beautifully have my child on my chest and just start to nurse getting off to a great start then happily ever after….. WRONG!!!!

After C’s birth he nursed great, then the second day in the hospital he screamed and seemed to never stop nursing. I called the nurse in and begged her to take him to the nursery …. That never happened. She said ” oh this is normal just continue to nurse him.” She never bothered to explain newborns cluster nurse to help your milk come in…. That night I resented my newborn. I sat and thought this is what was not explained in my classes or books wtf.

Off we went home my milk finally came in everything was great until he started breaking out and colicy. I was told oh cut everything out your diet except fruit, veggies and meat. Then it was oh add this formula ( which made things worse). Then when I thought everything was fine we battled thrush. My nipples burned constantly. Finally after discovering gentian violet (purple nipples but is awesome!!!!) things were great….. Until I had an ectopic and landed in the hospital for two days. Separated from my baby not able to pump, my desire of wanting to speak to an LC were denied. My supply went down and I just gave up. Oh and I didn’t mention my fear of nursing in public so that also hurt my supply.

Then I found out I was pregnant with Lyam. I was determined to EBF for at least a year. So far we have hit a few walls but get over them. Yet the difference having a group of moms I can call on for support. S who is a friend and was also my doula has been a great help answering my question when she figures out that her phone has a text on it.

Yet the things we have over come …

NIP – with C I was terrified to nurse in public with L I could care less. At a recent hockey game I went to with my friend L and brought little L with. I was worried about the guys behind me seeing my nipple. Well my friend L said ” Iola I think everyone at this point has seen your nipple, it’s a nipple they will get over it. ” I don’t know I how to take that statement of everyone seeing my nipples but who cares at this point.

Gassiness- we still have the problem but taking out dairy helped!

Distracted nursing- wont ever go away apparently babies think your nipples are meant for stretching lone distances as they look for the new noises they hear.

Colds and stuffiness- nurse straight up and down it helps

Nursing strike- we are currently dealing with I will get back with the results.

Oversupply- pump and I donate it.

See nursing its this crazy little game some moms never have a problem. Those I envy. Then some have a ton of problems. If you do hit a bump in the road check out some of the links included here. It’s hard but don’t give up. Happy Nursing!